Perplexity in the plex

the plot thickens
and my pulse quickens
and all I can think is
this is not how it's supposed to be

so as the camera swings in
and the mid-plex anchor sits in
all that I can think is
shame about the coming perjury

A Snapshot of May

((A SNAPSHOT OF HOW I FELT ON MAY 7TH, 2007))

What is there to say.

I'm sitting here in a bit of a gloom, mostly because the only light bulb in my room just blew and I'm too short and lazy to fix it right now, but also because I continue to feel very lonely.

Every single person in my life that I yern to spend time with, lives far, far away (& not in the magical land of shrek but at least 15-hundred miles from hugging distance)

no, i will not stay and wait
with bated breath
as you take your time in other thoughts and whims
wait til your thoughts casually remember my existence and
juggle with the decision of whether you care enough to call
before the most fleeting distraction wipes the thought from your mind
no, i will not wait
because i'm already gone from your heart
and there's no one left to answer the phone.

The Funeral House Cat

Alone in the city.

Just me, myself... and the funeral house cat...

It just came scampering up to me today, an agile long haired feline, it's clean salt & pepper fur luminously swaying in the first spring sunshine.

The funeral house cat stopped directly in front of me on the sidewalk, looking strait up into my face with it's huge, green orbe eyes. It's piercing gaze all the more stunning set aginst it's dark face, black as death, and white mane.

Lithe and light it rubbed up against my leg like a happy bad omen.

I reached out to pet it but the animal was more like a vision than anything of this world. It playfully darted away from my hand to the edge of the side walk, as if it were the edge of reality, while never taking those deep, liquid eyes away from mine. Was it telling me something?

The next moment the funeral house door opened and the creature went running back.

I saw it standing at the base of the wooden steps, it's tail flicking in impish delight as a fragile, ill and grieving old woman was carried down the stairs. Her breath was raspy as tubes of oxygen protuded from her nostils like a clear noose.

The funeral house cat fixed the woman with her green gaze before darting up the stairs, between her withered legs, without compassion, but a teasing joy that couldn't have been more out of place.

I don't like being alone in the city.

To Do Today:

To Do Today:


Take shower

Do groceries

Buy underwear

Wear underwear

Write outline and questions for final article

Find things for the loan letter

Finish final evaluation for speech & email to teacher

Sleep

PANDERING TO PANDAS

I'm DONE with pandering to cute twin panda cubs whose double cuddle cuteness it twice as nice for the viewer to consume.

I'm done with writing about Mike Tyson's latest failure ... cocaine in his pocket? like I didn't see that one coming.

I'm done with writing about Anna Nicole's death as though it were a game show... Is the Daddy behind door number 3??? Was her son murdered before her very eyes?? Find out after this nifty announcement from our sponsors!

And I'm ESPECIALLY done with writing about a rain storm as if it's the end of the world. These people in New England don't know what bad weather is! When you're about to be slammed by your third hurricane and there's still a gaping hole in your roof THEN it's OK to say that it may be a state of emergency. NOT when it's a drizzle of a Nor'easter.

I especially don't like the hype around this "storm" coverage, coming from a state where we deal with REAL storms. Where we don't activate the "emergency management bunker" unless it's a category 2 or higher! This is really ridiculous...

I've been through... Andrew, Jeanne, Charlie, Katrina, Rita and Wilma ... just to name a few.
Hurricane Andrew hit on my 6th birthday in 1992, and devastated the entire city. I was traumatized for years after that storm... so I don't appreciate the hype of a rain shower like this one.

The end.

Nudity

I think there's more to nudity than just being naked.

Why can't I think when I've got boys on the brain? And it doesn't even need to be anyone I extraordinarly like but just have a crush on. My brain gets fuzzy, I start feeling anxious, my thoughts drift often and I find it nearly impossible to concentrate...
I just need the security of knowing that someone thinks positively of me and could be there for me, even if just as a friend.

I feel naked around crushes, like my thoughts and actions are transparent. I feel like I have huge bushy bangs again and Harry Potter glasses and hairy legs and yellow teeth and a flat chest... you know, just an over all middle school awkwardness. I've actually been getting better about this though, I'm very happy with the way i've been carryig myself lately... but still the feeling creeps up.

Yet often times my crushes end up becoming my best friends, I think that's what I'm really looking for most of all, a good friend in this city where I continue to remain very alone. But I don't want pity, I want to prove that I'm a cool enough cat to hang out with all on my own... And if it doesn't work out that way then it doesn't work out.


Also, per actual Nudity:

I think wearing clothes while alone in your room is unnatural and should be a crime. There should be naked police who come to your house to make sure you comply... I wish, LOL.
But clothes are troublesome and uncomfortable. I miss the days when I was in kindergarden and the first thing i would do when I got home was take off all my clothes and scamper butt naked around the house.

We owe it to our inner child to let our skin breathe free!

Ladies, free your bodies from the straps of bondage that bind your figures daily! Dance naked and imagine how many guys would kill to be looking at you right now. Laugh heartily.

Pelosi for Prez

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has recently come under heavy, heated fire from the White House and Senate conservatives after defying President Bush's wishes to make a stop to speak with the leaders of Syria.

She was the highest ranking American official to meet with their president in the last 12 years. What she did, essentially, was to open up a dialogue with Syria about the war on terror and to assess where their nation stood.

There have been accusation flying back and forth that Pelosi is following her own foreign policy and is trying to act as though she were President and that she's undermining our current foreign policy. However, If anyone has been following exactly how we have been handling our foreign policy for the last 6 or 7 years, I don't know how you can see this as a bad thing.

There have also been questions of whether Pelosi thinks that she can do the part of America's top diplomat better than Condoleeza Rice. The answer to that is simple: YES.

You don't make progress in a region by dramatically, and broadly associating an entire nation as a member of the "Axis of Evil", as though it were part some real life ring of super villains. This administration has taken no time to understand the religious, cultural and historical dynamics of an ancient region and peoples.

She's simply following the recommendations of the 9/11 commission that Bush so arrogantly decided to ignore. He doesn't listen to advisers, or facts by that matter (including evidence from Ambassador Joseph Wilson that contradict the administrations exaggeration of the threat from Iraq. His administration thanked Wilson for his finding that no hazardous material were indeed being shipped from Africa to Iraq, by exposing Wilson's wife's identify as a covert CIA operative.)

Also, How are we supposed to stop terrorism and improve the status of the region if we refuse to even speak to key players that are intricately involved there? It makes absolutely no sense! Intelligence and diplomacy are things extinct in this current administration, and Nancy Pelosi is trying to rebuild our tattered global reputation.

We've been told over and over again that Syria is an Evil nation, supporting terrorist activities and are fighters against freedom and liberty. These repugnant, condescending, propagandist oversimplifications are an insult to American intelligence and a feeble cover for a much more complicated situation.

Syrian leaders have recognized the legitimacy of Israel as a nation, a very important fact. Their leaders want relations with the United States and it's an incredible valuable sentiment. With skilled negotiation, diplomacy, pressure and maneuvering Syria can become an asset in this absurd war. Why would we shun an embattled nation in the region who wants to come to the table?? It seems Bush doesn't want to win his own war... or perhaps it's a different war he's fighting... the one to control information, the war of clever PR campaign designed to hide his true purpose? We certainly know that Israel is the king of PR manipulation of conflicts in which they share just as much of the blame for violence and human rights violations...

But again, I digress.

I think that fact that Pelosi is being criticized for not falling in line behind the President is a very positive thing. It's exactly what needs to be done! Why should a new leader, elected by a nation overwhelmingly dissatisfied and scared by 6-years of failed foreign policy going to continue to be a lapdog to the administration? She's bearing her teeth! And we need to stand behind her.

Pelosi was not alone on her supposedly "renegade mission" to defy the President. Along with fellow democrats she was accompanied by a delegation of congressional Republican representatives who also have the best interests of the nation and the world at heart.

So I applaud Pelosi for doing what she can in an incredibly hostile environment to get America back on the track to peace and for doing her part to help mend this atrocity.